Embedded Files
For anyone at risk of coming to prison or ruining their life
First, let's consider what it means for someone to be classified as "at-risk". If you or someone you know is under twenty-five years of age and living in a single-parent home, or involved in the foster care or Department of Social Services system- then that automatically defines you as at-risk. Additionally, being homeless, engaging in or considering drug or alcohol experimentation, participating in gang or criminal activity, or lacking an involved father figure in your life, all contribute to being considered as at-risk.
Now the question is, "At risk of what?" Simply not having an active father in ones life, according to the National Fatherhood Institute, makes an individual 87% more likely to end up in prison. If you are in the social services or juvenile justice systems, you are almost guaranteed to come to prison. And of course, being involved with gang or criminal activity doesn't decrease your chances either.
The core of this ministries existence is to speak life into those at-risk of ending up in prison, dead, or addicted to drugs. I don't want that for you. I've been all those things, and none of them are good. I implore you, I beg you, to spend some time with me. Go through this page—the other pages, too—and READ. Invest in yourself! No one is going to do it for you. You have to make a decision to learn and grow and study if you want to change the trajectory of your life and keep from making the mistakes that I did. You can start now…
July 1, 2026—The Price of the Colors: Why the Gang is a Dead End
It usually starts with a promise of protection, family, and loyalty. When you feel isolated, targeted, or left to fend for yourself in a chaotic environment, a crew that stands together looks like a sanctuary. They hand you a sense of belonging, a title, and the illusion of power in a world where you’ve felt powerless. They tell you they have your back when no one else does.
But there is a massive gap between the propaganda of the streets and the raw reality of the contract you are signing.
Let's look at the actual math of that life. The loyalty they preach is a one-way street designed to exploit your youth, your anger, and your desperation. The older guys pushing the line aren't trying to build you up; they are using you as a shield to protect their own interests while you take all the legal and physical risks. They trade on your life to secure their own positions.
The dangers aren't just an abstract warning from a textbook; they are concrete, permanent, and guaranteed. If you stay on that path, your destination is mathematically narrowed down to two outcomes: a cold cell or a plot of dirt. The system is built to hunt you down, and rival sets are waiting for you to slip. You spend every single second looking over your shoulder, trapped in a state of hyper-vigilance that fries your brain and strips away your peace. That isn't power—it's a high-stress prison before you even see a judge.
To get out, you must build on what we talked about in The Art of the Clean Cut. Leaving a gang requires an even deeper level of strategic calculation and raw backbone. Consider these steps as your exit strategy:
Drop the romanticized illusion: Stop looking at the gang as a family. Real families don't ask you to catch a felony charge, throw away your education, or risk your life to prove your worth. It is a toxic business arrangement cloaked in the language of brotherhood.
Execute a hard, tactical break: Unlike a casual friend group where you can use a gradual fade, a gang often requires a decisive, clean cut. Change your number. Delete your digital footprint. If possible, change your physical environment entirely—relocate to a different neighborhood, stay with extended family, or plug into a residential trade program.
Redirect the warrior mentality: The grit, situational awareness, and fearlessness it takes to survive in that world are elite survival traits. When you decouple those skills from criminal activity and redirect them toward a trade, an education, or a legitimate career, you become an absolute powerhouse.
It’s a hard truth to carry. They will call you a traitor when you walk away. They will try to use guilt, threats, and intimidation to pull you back into the mud. Let them talk. Your life is too expensive to buy into a fake loyalty that demands your destruction.
Make the pivot before the system or a bullet makes it for you. Cut the tie, protect your head, and choose life. If I can do it then you can too.
June 1, 2026—The Art of the Clean Cut: Leaving the Crowd Behind
It’s one of the hardest things you will ever have to do as a young person: looking at the friends you’ve known for years and realizing that they cannot go where you are going.
When you grow up together, struggle together, and survive together, a deep bond forms. But there is a difference between friends who are growing with you and friends who are just comfortable sharing your misery. If your circle spends all their time talking about people, complaining about their circumstances, using substances, or looking for trouble, they are not your squad—they are your anchor.
You might worry about being lonely. You might worry about what people will say about you if you stop hanging out on the block or responding to the group chat.
But ask yourself this: Is their temporary approval worth your permanent failure?
Walking away doesn't mean you hate them. It doesn't mean you think you're better than them. It just means you've realized that your vision for your life requires a different environment. You cannot fly if you are clinging to people who are determined to crash.
Some things to keep in mind:
Gradual fade vs. clean cut: Sometimes you can just slowly distance yourself by becoming too busy with your school, work, or hobbies. Other times, you need to make a clean cut—block numbers, delete social media accounts, and completely remove yourself from the environment.
Expect the pushback: When you change, it holds up a mirror to the people around them, showing them that they are staying stagnant. They will try to pull you back down to make themselves feel better. Expect it, brace for it, and don't yield to it.
Space creates opportunity: Yes, you might be lonely for a little while. But that empty space in your life is exactly what allows new, motivated, healthy relationships to enter.
Your future is too expensive to waste on maintaining loyalties to people who don't care about their own potential. Make the clean cut, protect your focus, and run your race.
May 1, 2026—The Grind of the Unseen: Loving the Process of Growth
We see the highlights everywhere. On Instagram and TikTok, we see people flexing cash, cars, and clothes. We see the overnight success stories and the finished products. What we almost never see is the boring, unglamorous, exhausting grind that happens in the dark.
When you're trying to change your life, the lack of immediate results can be incredibly discouraging. You study for an exam, and you get a C. You work a minimum-wage job for a month, and your paycheck barely covers your basic needs. You try to fix your attitude, and someone still brings up your past. You start to think, "Why am I bothering? The grind isn't working."
Real growth is like planting a seed. For a long time, all the action happens underground. It looks like nothing is happening, but underneath the surface, roots are forming. If you dig up the seed every day to check on it, it will die. You must trust the process.
Shift your focus from goals to systems: A goal is wanting a great career; a system is showing up to your classes or training every day on time. Focus on executing your daily system perfectly, and the goals will take care of themselves.
Celebrate the invisible wins: Did you stop yourself from reacting in anger today? Did you choose to stay home and focus instead of going out with a crowd that spells trouble? That is a massive victory. Celebrate it, even if no one else notices.
Embrace the boredom: Success isn't always exciting. Most of the time, it's just doing the same productive, disciplined things over and over again until they become second nature.
The streets offer fast cash and fast status, but it disappears just as quickly, often costing your freedom or your life. The slow grind builds something that can never be taken away from you. Love the process in the dark, and your growth will eventually be undeniable in the light.
April 1, 2026—Reclaiming the Narrative: You Are Not Your Worst Mistake
We live in a culture that loves to label people. The system is quick to slap a tag on you: "troublemaker," "at-risk," "failure," or "criminal." And honestly, maybe you’ve done some things that make those labels feel true. Maybe you've stolen, lied, skipped school, gotten into fights, or let down the people who trusted you.
When you look in the mirror, it’s easy to let those actions define who you are. You start thinking, "Well, I already messed up, so I might as well keep going down this path."
But there is a massive difference between making a mistake and being a mistake.
Your past actions are data points, not a destiny. Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. The moment you decide that your worst day does not get to dictate the rest of your days is the moment you reclaim your power. You are the author of your life, and just because the early chapters were messy, chaotic, or full of errors doesn't mean the book has to end in tragedy.
Own it without carrying it: Don't make excuses for what you did. Own it. Say, "Yes, I did that. It was a poor choice." But don't let it become your identity. Acknowledge the error, learn the lesson, and leave the shame behind.
Understand the "Why": Why did you make that choice? Were you seeking validation? Were you angry? Were you just trying to survive? Understanding your triggers helps you avoid the same traps in the future.
Build a track record of new choices: You change your reputation—with yourself and with others—by piling up new, positive actions. Every time you make a good choice, you cast a vote for the person you want to become.
The world might try to keep you in a box based on your worst moments. Don't help them tape the box shut. Step out, rewrite the narrative, and prove that your past was just the setup for an incredible comeback.
March 1, 2026—The Debt You Don't Owe: Escaping Familial Guilt
One of the heaviest weights a young person can carry is the feeling that they are responsible for fixing their family's problems. When you start trying to better yourself—whether that means staying in school, getting a legal job, cutting out toxic substances, or planning to move away—a strange thing often happens. The people closest to you might try to make you feel guilty for wanting more.
They might call you "boujee," tell you that you're forgetting where you came from, or subtly drag you back into the family drama. You might feel a crushing obligation to stay in the mud just because your family is still there.
Let's clear something up right now: You do not owe your future to pay for your family's past choices. Loyalty to a broken system is not love; it’s a trap. Wanting a stable, peaceful, and successful life does not make you a traitor. It makes you a breaker of generational curses. If you allow yourself to be dragged down by the dysfunction around you, you won't save your family—you'll just end up drowning right alongside them.
Differentiate between helping and enabling: Giving someone money for food is helping. Giving someone money when they refuse to work or use it for habits that destroy them is enabling. You cannot fund someone else's self-destruction.
Establish emotional boundaries: You can love your family from a distance. You can wish them the best while refusing to let their chaos disrupt your peace, your studies, or your focus.
Realize your success is the ultimate gift: The best way to help your community or your family in the long run is to become strong enough, stable enough, and successful enough to actually offer real support later on—on your own terms.
You cannot pour from an empty cup. Secure your future first. Break the cycle. The debt of guilt you think you owe is an illusion.
February 1, 2026—The Blueprint: Building a Life When You Weren't Given a Map
When you're growing up in a chaotic environment, nobody hands you a step-by-step guide on how to build a stable, successful life. Most of the time, you're just looking around at the adults or the peers in your neighborhood, trying to figure out what not to do. It’s like being dropped in the middle of a dense forest and being told to build a house, but no one gave you tools, blueprints, or even a basic compass.
It is incredibly easy to feel cheated by this. You look at other kids who have stable homes, parents who pay for college, or families with connections, and it’s natural to feel a sense of bitterness. You might ask yourself, "Why do I have to fight twice as hard just to get to the starting line?"
Here is the raw truth: You did get an unfair hand. Acknowledging that isn't making an excuse; it's just stating a fact. But dwelling on the unfairness will keep you trapped in the woods forever. If you weren't given a map, you have to become the architect of your own life. You have to draw the blueprint yourself.
Audit your inputs: Stop looking to broken environments for examples of how to be whole. If the adults around you have never managed their money, held down a healthy relationship, or controlled their anger, stop using them as your reference point.
Find virtual mentors: In the digital age, knowledge is democratized. If you don't have a positive role model in your living room, find them in books, podcasts, or educational videos. Learn how successful people think, how they manage their time, and how they overcome failure.
Start with micro-habits: You don't build a house in a day; you lay one brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid. Apply this to your life. Make your bed. Show up to school or work ten minutes early. Read ten pages of a book. These small actions prove to your brain that you are in control of your destiny.
You are not doomed to repeat the cycles you inherited. The lack of a blueprint just means your story will be entirely your own creation. Grab the pen, lay the first brick, and start building.
WATCH THE COMPANY YOU KEEP
4/10/24
1. I don't know exactly what brought you to this website. But for most, you probably have someone who cares deeply for you and is concerned about the direction you may be going in. So they asked you to take a look at this page. First off, count your blessings, you have someone in your corner. That is more than a lot of people have.
2. My name is Brandon, as you should know by now. And truth is, I have a lot of experience with making the wrong decisions. The reasons I made those decisions were many. Many of them were out of plain stupidity. Others were out of pain and uncertainty. Today I want to make sure you are plainly aware of the importance of choosing your friends wisely, especially as it relates to the Bible. You may not read it a lot, but it is by far the best selling book EVER. And quiet frankly, it changed me into the person who cares what direction you are headed in today, along with your loved ones, that is. (Again, count your blessings.)
If you have haven't read it somewhere else, a friend of mine and I took the police on a chase back in 2012. We had guns in the car. Resultingly, during the chase we shot rounds out of our window in hopes of the muzzle flashes ending the nighttime pursuit. It was very stupid. We put many lives in danger. And due to my influence, a "friend" of mine caught a sentence of 17-21 years in North Carolina's state penitentiary. I myself got 20-29 years. He and I are going on our twelfth year.
I cared for this guy like a brother. I still do. Like he is my own family. I love him. My mother tries to put money onto his prison tablet and commissary as often as is possible. But caring for him didn't make a difference. I was young and stupid and didn't pay attention to how my negative actions and influence would affect his persons entire future; as well as his family's future. They miss this guy dearly. His name is Cody, and he is now 29 years old.
The Bible and the things it says for us to do, it isn't meant to be some rigid set of rules that restrict you from having any fun. It is the way God tries to keep you safe, your physical body as well as your soul. So it has a thing or two to say about this subject of friends.
Pointing out the need to be mindful when we choose our friends, the Word says: "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared" (Proverbs 22:24-25, NIV). In the past, I was quick to snap on people. I was the tuff guy. I was the "friend" you called when someone was picking on you or your girlfriend. Or, when there was a friend of yours that was tied up in an abusive relationship and you wanted to help her get out of the house. Mostly, I thought I used my anger for good. But, still, anger is dangerous. And there are warning signs you can look out for, if you WATCH the company you keep.
3. And look at that last part of the verse, "and get yourself ensnared." This is real life we are talking about here. This isn't a game. You don't get any do-overs. At 18 years old the courts laid my friend down for as long as he had been alive. He got himself ensnared, literally, by following my lead, wanting to be "loyal," to be a "friend," knowing I was jammed up and wanted for beating up a guy who was beating on his girlfriend.
This is straight talk here. Somebody loves you and is trying to get your attention. Prison isn't fun. It isn't easy either. It takes more than time from you. It takes part of your being. It leaves you with trauma. Real talk, just this morning I woke up and learned that someone got hit in the head with a lock while they were asleep. This isn't where you want to be. In no way shape or form. You don't want it. You may think your tuff and that you are willing to take risks to do what you got to do to make it out there. But you don't want this, I promise you.
It said don't make friends with such a person. Just to be clear, it says don't even ASSOCIATE with them. Some of you reading this have been associating with some people you have no business associating with. The old saying is true, if you get down with dogs, you are going to get up with fleas. And some fleas you can't get rid of. Some fleas are for life, a gnawing, biting feeling you can't ever get off. An itch you can't ever scratch. A label you can't remove.
4. You have to understand that the people you keep around you, no matter how strong or good you think you are, will INFECT you. The Word says, "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character'" (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV). One minute you are doing school projects and singing in the choir. Then a bad "friend" comes along and two months later you are smoking pot, selling dope and hitting licks.
I wish I would have learned these things before I made the choices in friends that I made. I wish I would have learned the dangers associated with choosing bad friends. Fooled me once, shame on them. Fool me twice, THAT'S on me. Now I'm doing things different. And I suggest you do the same, BEFORE you go to prison!
These days, a friend of Jesus is a friend of mine. And He made it easy for us to distinguish between those who are His friends and those who are not. He said, "You are my friends if you do what I command" (John 15:14, NIV). These days, I'm paying attention. I'm looking. Okay, bet, they don't have anger problems. So I'm good there. But what are they doing? Are they DOING what Jesus says to do in the Word? If they are, then we good. We can be friends. Call it what you want, but this ain't no video game. You only get one shot, as Eminem said.
You can't afford to miss!
5. So we see that they are doing what Jesus says to do in His Word, but more so than that, they actually know the Word for themselves. Jesus, Big Bro, goes on to say, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:15, NIV). Those who are Jesus' friends know the Bible—in a perfect world—even as Jesus Himself knows it. And they love people (John 15:17). The opposite of love is not hate, it is selfishness. So those are things you can be on the lookout (BOLO) for if you want to be smart about your life.
Remember: a friend of His is a friend of ours. And when it comes down to it, the way Jesus sees it is: you are either a friend of His, or a friend of the World. The Word says, "You adulterous [disloyal] people, don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity [hostility] against God? Therefore anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God" (James 4:4, NIV). Who in their right minds would want beef with God Almighty? You better choose your friends wisely. Because the way He sees it is, "Birds of a feather flock together." You are guilty by association. You are just as wrong or right as your friends. The law calls this "acting in concert." And think about it, if your beefing with God, it is only a matter of time before you lose. He is GOING to win every time!
6. When someone goes to prison all we think about is the crime that was committed and the law that was broken. Many think THAT alone is the reason for our captivity, our being exiled and imprisoned. But Scripture tells it from another angle. It say that, when it comes down to it, the reason that people go to prison is because they have sinned against God. (Please take a moment to look up 2 Chronicles 6:37-39, Jeremiah 22:22, and Romans 13:1-7.) It is, and always has been between you and God. And He is going to win. He is God. Why would a person deliberately choose to lose?
If we want to win at this thing called life, and if we want to please our Creator, this is what the Word says, "Do not be yoked together [friends] with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial [an idol]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: 'I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.' Therefore, 'Come out from them and be separate, touch no unclean thing and THEN I will receive you.' And, 'I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty'" (2 Cor 6:14-18).
Maybe you haven't had a father to ACTIVELY father you in your life.
7. Maybe you are looking for that in a big homie or the gang. God is saying HE will be that for you. And He will be the BEST Father. He has always been there. He has just been waiting for you to make up your mind if you wanted Him to be that for you. He loves you. More than any of your friends ever could! He wants what's best for you.
And what is best for you is found in the Word of God.
I know life can get hard. I used to be down since day one. I used to aid and assist and all that stuff. I'm telling you, He has something better and bigger for your life. And one thing He told me, after I started my own journey, was that He doesn't need a platform. He doesn't want you to stay down so you can make a difference in the lives of those guys. He don't want you to stay down, He wants you to Step Out. Step out of that mess! Wash your hands and say your prayers and turn to the Highest Ranking One of All: Jesus Christ. God the Father gave the entire world to Him as His personal footstool. Solomon himself tried to build a house for Him out of something earthy and worldly. And this is what He said: "Heaven is My throne, and the earth is My footstool. What kind of house will you build for me, says the Lord...Did not My hand make all these things?" (Acts 7:49-50, ESV).
He doesn't need nor want that platform. He wants you to step out and separate your self from them. Give yourself to Him! Don't step with. Step out! Step out from them while you can.
8. Look at this, Psalms 1 promises us: "Blessed is the one who does not WALK in step with the wicked or STAND in the way that sinners take or SIT in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates in his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yield fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff THAT THE WIND BLOWS AWAY. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgement, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction" (verses 1-6, caps mine).
By wicked He means the world. People who do not even try to obey God, who do not believe in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Those who have not prayed: "Lord Jesus, forgive me my sins. I repent. From now on, You are my Savior, You are my Lord. Mold me and shape me as YOU will. Amen."
Once you do this, you will begin to yield fruit that others can eat from. Once you get planted in His Word and His purposes for your life, you will feel whole and your life will become purposeful like nothing you have ever imagined.
Men and women of God know who to listen to, as well as who not. And they stand for what they believe. And God knows that exact spot they are standing in, and every step they take. His eye is on them. HE is their friend.
9. Your Father loves you. He wants to keep you safe. And in reference to your friends this is what He wants me to tell you:
"Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God" (2 Corinthians 7:1, NIV).
Take that leap of faith and step out of that circle you are in. Become your own man. A family man. God's man. Be that Father or Mother He has called you to be. You can do it.
I'm speaking from personal experience here. I remember the exact date I started choosing my friends deliberately. It took some courage. As a result of my choice to step out, I could have been killed. I'm just being honest with you here. Because I want you to know that I understand. In some cases, stepping out may mean risking your life. But if your brave, you will gain your life in more ways than one.
Jim Elliot was a missionary to the Acua Indians. A cannibalistic tribe of people who had eaten everyone that came to tell them about God up to that time. While Jim was on the plane he wrote this in his diary. He wrote, "He is no fool who would give what he cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose."
Some things and people are worth standing for. And some are not. I'm just asking you to make the best choice. Because your worth it. And because there was a time, not too long ago, that a whole group of people stepped in to help pull ME out of the fire.
Never Take It For Granted
Never Take It For Granted
by Spencer Pinekenstein June 30,2024
by Spencer Pinekenstein June 30,2024
As often as I recall all the decisions that I wish I would have made differently in my past, is as often as I realize that I made those decisions because I took certain things for granted. I assumed that familywould always be there for me. I cast off the words and wisdom from certain mentors in my life as superficial and "just what an adult might tell any young person".
I also took for granted that life is delicate, and should be treated with care. A diminished value of these things propelled to make some truly horrible decisions regarding the well being of myself and others. from drugs to guns to theft and murder, I cut a path full of pain with my life through the lives of others. God certainly never means for any person at any time to walk paths such as that, and today, even as I type these words, I am filled with comfort and awe that God saw fit to take ashes and turn it to beauty. That is what my lie was as I walked into Guilford County jail January 2019. Ashes.But nothing, and I do mean nothing, is beyond the providence of God. He takes evil things, and turns them for good. He takes the lesser things, and makes them greater. He makes the weak strong and helps the unloved encounter real love. My advice is to let God make beautiful art with your life. He is the greatest painter, sculptor, and architect imaginable. If you let him, he will show you why.
With love,
Spencer Pinekenstein
February 1, 2026—The Blueprint: Building a Life When You Weren't Given a Map
When you're growing up in a chaotic environment, nobody hands you a step-by-step guide on how to build a stable, successful life. Most of the time, you're just looking around at the adults or the peers in your neighborhood, trying to figure out what not to do. It’s like being dropped in the middle of a dense forest and being told to build a house, but no one gave you tools, blueprints, or even a basic compass.
It is incredibly easy to feel cheated by this. You look at other kids who have stable homes, parents who pay for college, or families with connections, and it’s natural to feel a sense of bitterness. You might ask yourself, "Why do I have to fight twice as hard just to get to the starting line?"
Here is the raw truth: You did get an unfair hand. Acknowledging that isn't making an excuse; it's just stating a fact. But dwelling on the unfairness will keep you trapped in the woods forever. If you weren't given a map, you have to become the architect of your own life. You have to draw the blueprint yourself.
Audit your inputs: Stop looking to broken environments for examples of how to be whole. If the adults around you have never managed their money, held down a healthy relationship, or controlled their anger, stop using them as your reference point.
Find virtual mentors: In the digital age, knowledge is democratized. If you don't have a positive role model in your living room, find them in books, podcasts, or educational videos. Learn how successful people think, how they manage their time, and how they overcome failure.
Start with micro-habits: You don't build a house in a day; you lay one brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid. Apply this to your life. Make your bed. Show up to school or work ten minutes early. Read ten pages of a book. These small actions prove to your brain that you are in control of your destiny.
You are not doomed to repeat the cycles you inherited. The lack of a blueprint just means your story will be entirely your own creation. Grab the pen, lay the first brick, and start building.
WATCH THE COMPANY YOU KEEP
4/10/24
1. I don't know exactly what brought you to this website. But for most, you probably have someone who cares deeply for you and is concerned about the direction you may be going in. So they asked you to take a look at this page. First off, count your blessings, you have someone in your corner. That is more than a lot of people have.
2. My name is Brandon, as you should know by now. And truth is, I have a lot of experience with making the wrong decisions. The reasons I made those decisions were many. Many of them were out of plain stupidity. Others were out of pain and uncertainty. Today I want to make sure you are plainly aware of the importance of choosing your friends wisely, especially as it relates to the Bible. You may not read it a lot, but it is by far the best selling book EVER. And quiet frankly, it changed me into the person who cares what direction you are headed in today, along with your loved ones, that is. (Again, count your blessings.)
If you have haven't read it somewhere else, a friend of mine and I took the police on a chase back in 2012. We had guns in the car. Resultingly, during the chase we shot rounds out of our window in hopes of the muzzle flashes ending the nighttime pursuit. It was very stupid. We put many lives in danger. And due to my influence, a "friend" of mine caught a sentence of 17-21 years in North Carolina's state penitentiary. I myself got 20-29 years. He and I are going on our twelfth year.
I cared for this guy like a brother. I still do. Like he is my own family. I love him. My mother tries to put money onto his prison tablet and commissary as often as is possible. But caring for him didn't make a difference. I was young and stupid and didn't pay attention to how my negative actions and influence would affect his persons entire future; as well as his family's future. They miss this guy dearly. His name is Cody, and he is now 29 years old.
The Bible and the things it says for us to do, it isn't meant to be some rigid set of rules that restrict you from having any fun. It is the way God tries to keep you safe, your physical body as well as your soul. So it has a thing or two to say about this subject of friends.
Pointing out the need to be mindful when we choose our friends, the Word says: "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared" (Proverbs 22:24-25, NIV). In the past, I was quick to snap on people. I was the tuff guy. I was the "friend" you called when someone was picking on you or your girlfriend. Or, when there was a friend of yours that was tied up in an abusive relationship and you wanted to help her get out of the house. Mostly, I thought I used my anger for good. But, still, anger is dangerous. And there are warning signs you can look out for, if you WATCH the company you keep.
3. And look at that last part of the verse, "and get yourself ensnared." This is real life we are talking about here. This isn't a game. You don't get any do-overs. At 18 years old the courts laid my friend down for as long as he had been alive. He got himself ensnared, literally, by following my lead, wanting to be "loyal," to be a "friend," knowing I was jammed up and wanted for beating up a guy who was beating on his girlfriend.
This is straight talk here. Somebody loves you and is trying to get your attention. Prison isn't fun. It isn't easy either. It takes more than time from you. It takes part of your being. It leaves you with trauma. Real talk, just this morning I woke up and learned that someone got hit in the head with a lock while they were asleep. This isn't where you want to be. In no way shape or form. You don't want it. You may think your tuff and that you are willing to take risks to do what you got to do to make it out there. But you don't want this, I promise you.
It said don't make friends with such a person. Just to be clear, it says don't even ASSOCIATE with them. Some of you reading this have been associating with some people you have no business associating with. The old saying is true, if you get down with dogs, you are going to get up with fleas. And some fleas you can't get rid of. Some fleas are for life, a gnawing, biting feeling you can't ever get off. An itch you can't ever scratch. A label you can't remove.
4. You have to understand that the people you keep around you, no matter how strong or good you think you are, will INFECT you. The Word says, "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character'" (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV). One minute you are doing school projects and singing in the choir. Then a bad "friend" comes along and two months later you are smoking pot, selling dope and hitting licks.
I wish I would have learned these things before I made the choices in friends that I made. I wish I would have learned the dangers associated with choosing bad friends. Fooled me once, shame on them. Fool me twice, THAT'S on me. Now I'm doing things different. And I suggest you do the same, BEFORE you go to prison!
These days, a friend of Jesus is a friend of mine. And He made it easy for us to distinguish between those who are His friends and those who are not. He said, "You are my friends if you do what I command" (John 15:14, NIV). These days, I'm paying attention. I'm looking. Okay, bet, they don't have anger problems. So I'm good there. But what are they doing? Are they DOING what Jesus says to do in the Word? If they are, then we good. We can be friends. Call it what you want, but this ain't no video game. You only get one shot, as Eminem said.
You can't afford to miss!
5. So we see that they are doing what Jesus says to do in His Word, but more so than that, they actually know the Word for themselves. Jesus, Big Bro, goes on to say, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:15, NIV). Those who are Jesus' friends know the Bible—in a perfect world—even as Jesus Himself knows it. And they love people (John 15:17). The opposite of love is not hate, it is selfishness. So those are things you can be on the lookout (BOLO) for if you want to be smart about your life.
Remember: a friend of His is a friend of ours. And when it comes down to it, the way Jesus sees it is: you are either a friend of His, or a friend of the World. The Word says, "You adulterous [disloyal] people, don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity [hostility] against God? Therefore anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God" (James 4:4, NIV). Who in their right minds would want beef with God Almighty? You better choose your friends wisely. Because the way He sees it is, "Birds of a feather flock together." You are guilty by association. You are just as wrong or right as your friends. The law calls this "acting in concert." And think about it, if your beefing with God, it is only a matter of time before you lose. He is GOING to win every time!
6. When someone goes to prison all we think about is the crime that was committed and the law that was broken. Many think THAT alone is the reason for our captivity, our being exiled and imprisoned. But Scripture tells it from another angle. It say that, when it comes down to it, the reason that people go to prison is because they have sinned against God. (Please take a moment to look up 2 Chronicles 6:37-39, Jeremiah 22:22, and Romans 13:1-7.) It is, and always has been between you and God. And He is going to win. He is God. Why would a person deliberately choose to lose?
If we want to win at this thing called life, and if we want to please our Creator, this is what the Word says, "Do not be yoked together [friends] with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial [an idol]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: 'I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.' Therefore, 'Come out from them and be separate, touch no unclean thing and THEN I will receive you.' And, 'I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty'" (2 Cor 6:14-18).
Maybe you haven't had a father to ACTIVELY father you in your life.
7. Maybe you are looking for that in a big homie or the gang. God is saying HE will be that for you. And He will be the BEST Father. He has always been there. He has just been waiting for you to make up your mind if you wanted Him to be that for you. He loves you. More than any of your friends ever could! He wants what's best for you.
And what is best for you is found in the Word of God.
I know life can get hard. I used to be down since day one. I used to aid and assist and all that stuff. I'm telling you, He has something better and bigger for your life. And one thing He told me, after I started my own journey, was that He doesn't need a platform. He doesn't want you to stay down so you can make a difference in the lives of those guys. He don't want you to stay down, He wants you to Step Out. Step out of that mess! Wash your hands and say your prayers and turn to the Highest Ranking One of All: Jesus Christ. God the Father gave the entire world to Him as His personal footstool. Solomon himself tried to build a house for Him out of something earthy and worldly. And this is what He said: "Heaven is My throne, and the earth is My footstool. What kind of house will you build for me, says the Lord...Did not My hand make all these things?" (Acts 7:49-50, ESV).
He doesn't need nor want that platform. He wants you to step out and separate your self from them. Give yourself to Him! Don't step with. Step out! Step out from them while you can.
8. Look at this, Psalms 1 promises us: "Blessed is the one who does not WALK in step with the wicked or STAND in the way that sinners take or SIT in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates in his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yield fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff THAT THE WIND BLOWS AWAY. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgement, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction" (verses 1-6, caps mine).
By wicked He means the world. People who do not even try to obey God, who do not believe in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Those who have not prayed: "Lord Jesus, forgive me my sins. I repent. From now on, You are my Savior, You are my Lord. Mold me and shape me as YOU will. Amen."
Once you do this, you will begin to yield fruit that others can eat from. Once you get planted in His Word and His purposes for your life, you will feel whole and your life will become purposeful like nothing you have ever imagined.
Men and women of God know who to listen to, as well as who not. And they stand for what they believe. And God knows that exact spot they are standing in, and every step they take. His eye is on them. HE is their friend.
9. Your Father loves you. He wants to keep you safe. And in reference to your friends this is what He wants me to tell you:
"Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God" (2 Corinthians 7:1, NIV).
Take that leap of faith and step out of that circle you are in. Become your own man. A family man. God's man. Be that Father or Mother He has called you to be. You can do it.
I'm speaking from personal experience here. I remember the exact date I started choosing my friends deliberately. It took some courage. As a result of my choice to step out, I could have been killed. I'm just being honest with you here. Because I want you to know that I understand. In some cases, stepping out may mean risking your life. But if your brave, you will gain your life in more ways than one.
Jim Elliot was a missionary to the Acua Indians. A cannibalistic tribe of people who had eaten everyone that came to tell them about God up to that time. While Jim was on the plane he wrote this in his diary. He wrote, "He is no fool who would give what he cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose."
Some things and people are worth standing for. And some are not. I'm just asking you to make the best choice. Because your worth it. And because there was a time, not too long ago, that a whole group of people stepped in to help pull ME out of the fire.
Never Take It For Granted
Never Take It For Granted
by Spencer Pinekenstein June 30,2024
by Spencer Pinekenstein June 30,2024
As often as I recall all the decisions that I wish I would have made differently in my past, is as often as I realize that I made those decisions because I took certain things for granted. I assumed that familywould always be there for me. I cast off the words and wisdom from certain mentors in my life as superficial and "just what an adult might tell any young person".
I also took for granted that life is delicate, and should be treated with care. A diminished value of these things propelled to make some truly horrible decisions regarding the well being of myself and others. from drugs to guns to theft and murder, I cut a path full of pain with my life through the lives of others. God certainly never means for any person at any time to walk paths such as that, and today, even as I type these words, I am filled with comfort and awe that God saw fit to take ashes and turn it to beauty. That is what my lie was as I walked into Guilford County jail January 2019. Ashes.But nothing, and I do mean nothing, is beyond the providence of God. He takes evil things, and turns them for good. He takes the lesser things, and makes them greater. He makes the weak strong and helps the unloved encounter real love. My advice is to let God make beautiful art with your life. He is the greatest painter, sculptor, and architect imaginable. If you let him, he will show you why.
With love,
Spencer Pinekenstein
February 1, 2026—The Blueprint: Building a Life When You Weren't Given a Map
When you're growing up in a chaotic environment, nobody hands you a step-by-step guide on how to build a stable, successful life. Most of the time, you're just looking around at the adults or the peers in your neighborhood, trying to figure out what not to do. It’s like being dropped in the middle of a dense forest and being told to build a house, but no one gave you tools, blueprints, or even a basic compass.
It is incredibly easy to feel cheated by this. You look at other kids who have stable homes, parents who pay for college, or families with connections, and it’s natural to feel a sense of bitterness. You might ask yourself, "Why do I have to fight twice as hard just to get to the starting line?"
Here is the raw truth: You did get an unfair hand. Acknowledging that isn't making an excuse; it's just stating a fact. But dwelling on the unfairness will keep you trapped in the woods forever. If you weren't given a map, you have to become the architect of your own life. You have to draw the blueprint yourself.
Audit your inputs: Stop looking to broken environments for examples of how to be whole. If the adults around you have never managed their money, held down a healthy relationship, or controlled their anger, stop using them as your reference point.
Find virtual mentors: In the digital age, knowledge is democratized. If you don't have a positive role model in your living room, find them in books, podcasts, or educational videos. Learn how successful people think, how they manage their time, and how they overcome failure.
Start with micro-habits: You don't build a house in a day; you lay one brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid. Apply this to your life. Make your bed. Show up to school or work ten minutes early. Read ten pages of a book. These small actions prove to your brain that you are in control of your destiny.
You are not doomed to repeat the cycles you inherited. The lack of a blueprint just means your story will be entirely your own creation. Grab the pen, lay the first brick, and start building.
WATCH THE COMPANY YOU KEEP
4/10/24
1. I don't know exactly what brought you to this website. But for most, you probably have someone who cares deeply for you and is concerned about the direction you may be going in. So they asked you to take a look at this page. First off, count your blessings, you have someone in your corner. That is more than a lot of people have.
2. My name is Brandon, as you should know by now. And truth is, I have a lot of experience with making the wrong decisions. The reasons I made those decisions were many. Many of them were out of plain stupidity. Others were out of pain and uncertainty. Today I want to make sure you are plainly aware of the importance of choosing your friends wisely, especially as it relates to the Bible. You may not read it a lot, but it is by far the best selling book EVER. And quiet frankly, it changed me into the person who cares what direction you are headed in today, along with your loved ones, that is. (Again, count your blessings.)
If you have haven't read it somewhere else, a friend of mine and I took the police on a chase back in 2012. We had guns in the car. Resultingly, during the chase we shot rounds out of our window in hopes of the muzzle flashes ending the nighttime pursuit. It was very stupid. We put many lives in danger. And due to my influence, a "friend" of mine caught a sentence of 17-21 years in North Carolina's state penitentiary. I myself got 20-29 years. He and I are going on our twelfth year.
I cared for this guy like a brother. I still do. Like he is my own family. I love him. My mother tries to put money onto his prison tablet and commissary as often as is possible. But caring for him didn't make a difference. I was young and stupid and didn't pay attention to how my negative actions and influence would affect his persons entire future; as well as his family's future. They miss this guy dearly. His name is Cody, and he is now 29 years old.
The Bible and the things it says for us to do, it isn't meant to be some rigid set of rules that restrict you from having any fun. It is the way God tries to keep you safe, your physical body as well as your soul. So it has a thing or two to say about this subject of friends.
Pointing out the need to be mindful when we choose our friends, the Word says: "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared" (Proverbs 22:24-25, NIV). In the past, I was quick to snap on people. I was the tuff guy. I was the "friend" you called when someone was picking on you or your girlfriend. Or, when there was a friend of yours that was tied up in an abusive relationship and you wanted to help her get out of the house. Mostly, I thought I used my anger for good. But, still, anger is dangerous. And there are warning signs you can look out for, if you WATCH the company you keep.
3. And look at that last part of the verse, "and get yourself ensnared." This is real life we are talking about here. This isn't a game. You don't get any do-overs. At 18 years old the courts laid my friend down for as long as he had been alive. He got himself ensnared, literally, by following my lead, wanting to be "loyal," to be a "friend," knowing I was jammed up and wanted for beating up a guy who was beating on his girlfriend.
This is straight talk here. Somebody loves you and is trying to get your attention. Prison isn't fun. It isn't easy either. It takes more than time from you. It takes part of your being. It leaves you with trauma. Real talk, just this morning I woke up and learned that someone got hit in the head with a lock while they were asleep. This isn't where you want to be. In no way shape or form. You don't want it. You may think your tuff and that you are willing to take risks to do what you got to do to make it out there. But you don't want this, I promise you.
It said don't make friends with such a person. Just to be clear, it says don't even ASSOCIATE with them. Some of you reading this have been associating with some people you have no business associating with. The old saying is true, if you get down with dogs, you are going to get up with fleas. And some fleas you can't get rid of. Some fleas are for life, a gnawing, biting feeling you can't ever get off. An itch you can't ever scratch. A label you can't remove.
4. You have to understand that the people you keep around you, no matter how strong or good you think you are, will INFECT you. The Word says, "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character'" (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV). One minute you are doing school projects and singing in the choir. Then a bad "friend" comes along and two months later you are smoking pot, selling dope and hitting licks.
I wish I would have learned these things before I made the choices in friends that I made. I wish I would have learned the dangers associated with choosing bad friends. Fooled me once, shame on them. Fool me twice, THAT'S on me. Now I'm doing things different. And I suggest you do the same, BEFORE you go to prison!
These days, a friend of Jesus is a friend of mine. And He made it easy for us to distinguish between those who are His friends and those who are not. He said, "You are my friends if you do what I command" (John 15:14, NIV). These days, I'm paying attention. I'm looking. Okay, bet, they don't have anger problems. So I'm good there. But what are they doing? Are they DOING what Jesus says to do in the Word? If they are, then we good. We can be friends. Call it what you want, but this ain't no video game. You only get one shot, as Eminem said.
You can't afford to miss!
5. So we see that they are doing what Jesus says to do in His Word, but more so than that, they actually know the Word for themselves. Jesus, Big Bro, goes on to say, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:15, NIV). Those who are Jesus' friends know the Bible—in a perfect world—even as Jesus Himself knows it. And they love people (John 15:17). The opposite of love is not hate, it is selfishness. So those are things you can be on the lookout (BOLO) for if you want to be smart about your life.
Remember: a friend of His is a friend of ours. And when it comes down to it, the way Jesus sees it is: you are either a friend of His, or a friend of the World. The Word says, "You adulterous [disloyal] people, don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity [hostility] against God? Therefore anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God" (James 4:4, NIV). Who in their right minds would want beef with God Almighty? You better choose your friends wisely. Because the way He sees it is, "Birds of a feather flock together." You are guilty by association. You are just as wrong or right as your friends. The law calls this "acting in concert." And think about it, if your beefing with God, it is only a matter of time before you lose. He is GOING to win every time!
6. When someone goes to prison all we think about is the crime that was committed and the law that was broken. Many think THAT alone is the reason for our captivity, our being exiled and imprisoned. But Scripture tells it from another angle. It say that, when it comes down to it, the reason that people go to prison is because they have sinned against God. (Please take a moment to look up 2 Chronicles 6:37-39, Jeremiah 22:22, and Romans 13:1-7.) It is, and always has been between you and God. And He is going to win. He is God. Why would a person deliberately choose to lose?
If we want to win at this thing called life, and if we want to please our Creator, this is what the Word says, "Do not be yoked together [friends] with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial [an idol]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: 'I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.' Therefore, 'Come out from them and be separate, touch no unclean thing and THEN I will receive you.' And, 'I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty'" (2 Cor 6:14-18).
Maybe you haven't had a father to ACTIVELY father you in your life.
7. Maybe you are looking for that in a big homie or the gang. God is saying HE will be that for you. And He will be the BEST Father. He has always been there. He has just been waiting for you to make up your mind if you wanted Him to be that for you. He loves you. More than any of your friends ever could! He wants what's best for you.
And what is best for you is found in the Word of God.
I know life can get hard. I used to be down since day one. I used to aid and assist and all that stuff. I'm telling you, He has something better and bigger for your life. And one thing He told me, after I started my own journey, was that He doesn't need a platform. He doesn't want you to stay down so you can make a difference in the lives of those guys. He don't want you to stay down, He wants you to Step Out. Step out of that mess! Wash your hands and say your prayers and turn to the Highest Ranking One of All: Jesus Christ. God the Father gave the entire world to Him as His personal footstool. Solomon himself tried to build a house for Him out of something earthy and worldly. And this is what He said: "Heaven is My throne, and the earth is My footstool. What kind of house will you build for me, says the Lord...Did not My hand make all these things?" (Acts 7:49-50, ESV).
He doesn't need nor want that platform. He wants you to step out and separate your self from them. Give yourself to Him! Don't step with. Step out! Step out from them while you can.
8. Look at this, Psalms 1 promises us: "Blessed is the one who does not WALK in step with the wicked or STAND in the way that sinners take or SIT in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates in his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yield fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff THAT THE WIND BLOWS AWAY. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgement, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction" (verses 1-6, caps mine).
By wicked He means the world. People who do not even try to obey God, who do not believe in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Those who have not prayed: "Lord Jesus, forgive me my sins. I repent. From now on, You are my Savior, You are my Lord. Mold me and shape me as YOU will. Amen."
Once you do this, you will begin to yield fruit that others can eat from. Once you get planted in His Word and His purposes for your life, you will feel whole and your life will become purposeful like nothing you have ever imagined.
Men and women of God know who to listen to, as well as who not. And they stand for what they believe. And God knows that exact spot they are standing in, and every step they take. His eye is on them. HE is their friend.
9. Your Father loves you. He wants to keep you safe. And in reference to your friends this is what He wants me to tell you:
"Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God" (2 Corinthians 7:1, NIV).
Take that leap of faith and step out of that circle you are in. Become your own man. A family man. God's man. Be that Father or Mother He has called you to be. You can do it.
I'm speaking from personal experience here. I remember the exact date I started choosing my friends deliberately. It took some courage. As a result of my choice to step out, I could have been killed. I'm just being honest with you here. Because I want you to know that I understand. In some cases, stepping out may mean risking your life. But if your brave, you will gain your life in more ways than one.
Jim Elliot was a missionary to the Acua Indians. A cannibalistic tribe of people who had eaten everyone that came to tell them about God up to that time. While Jim was on the plane he wrote this in his diary. He wrote, "He is no fool who would give what he cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose."
Some things and people are worth standing for. And some are not. I'm just asking you to make the best choice. Because your worth it. And because there was a time, not too long ago, that a whole group of people stepped in to help pull ME out of the fire.
Never Take It For Granted
Never Take It For Granted
by Spencer Pinekenstein June 30,2024
by Spencer Pinekenstein June 30,2024
As often as I recall all the decisions that I wish I would have made differently in my past, is as often as I realize that I made those decisions because I took certain things for granted. I assumed that familywould always be there for me. I cast off the words and wisdom from certain mentors in my life as superficial and "just what an adult might tell any young person".
I also took for granted that life is delicate, and should be treated with care. A diminished value of these things propelled to make some truly horrible decisions regarding the well being of myself and others. from drugs to guns to theft and murder, I cut a path full of pain with my life through the lives of others. God certainly never means for any person at any time to walk paths such as that, and today, even as I type these words, I am filled with comfort and awe that God saw fit to take ashes and turn it to beauty. That is what my lie was as I walked into Guilford County jail January 2019. Ashes.But nothing, and I do mean nothing, is beyond the providence of God. He takes evil things, and turns them for good. He takes the lesser things, and makes them greater. He makes the weak strong and helps the unloved encounter real love. My advice is to let God make beautiful art with your life. He is the greatest painter, sculptor, and architect imaginable. If you let him, he will show you why.
With love,
Spencer Pinekenstein
WATCH THE COMPANY YOU KEEP
4/10/24
1. I don't know exactly what brought you to this website. But for most, you probably have someone who cares deeply for you and is concerned about the direction you may be going in. So they asked you to take a look at this page. First off, count your blessings, you have someone in your corner. That is more than a lot of people have.
2. My name is Brandon, as you should know by now. And truth is, I have a lot of experience with making the wrong decisions. The reasons I made those decisions were many. Many of them were out of plain stupidity. Others were out of pain and uncertainty. Today I want to make sure you are plainly aware of the importance of choosing your friends wisely, especially as it relates to the Bible. You may not read it a lot, but it is by far the best selling book EVER. And quiet frankly, it changed me into the person who cares what direction you are headed in today, along with your loved ones, that is. (Again, count your blessings.)
If you have haven't read it somewhere else, a friend of mine and I took the police on a chase back in 2012. We had guns in the car. Resultingly, during the chase we shot rounds out of our window in hopes of the muzzle flashes ending the nighttime pursuit. It was very stupid. We put many lives in danger. And due to my influence, a "friend" of mine caught a sentence of 17-21 years in North Carolina's state penitentiary. I myself got 20-29 years. He and I are going on our twelfth year.
I cared for this guy like a brother. I still do. Like he is my own family. I love him. My mother tries to put money onto his prison tablet and commissary as often as is possible. But caring for him didn't make a difference. I was young and stupid and didn't pay attention to how my negative actions and influence would affect his persons entire future; as well as his family's future. They miss this guy dearly. His name is Cody, and he is now 29 years old.
The Bible and the things it says for us to do, it isn't meant to be some rigid set of rules that restrict you from having any fun. It is the way God tries to keep you safe, your physical body as well as your soul. So it has a thing or two to say about this subject of friends.
Pointing out the need to be mindful when we choose our friends, the Word says: "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared" (Proverbs 22:24-25, NIV). In the past, I was quick to snap on people. I was the tuff guy. I was the "friend" you called when someone was picking on you or your girlfriend. Or, when there was a friend of yours that was tied up in an abusive relationship and you wanted to help her get out of the house. Mostly, I thought I used my anger for good. But, still, anger is dangerous. And there are warning signs you can look out for, if you WATCH the company you keep.
3. And look at that last part of the verse, "and get yourself ensnared." This is real life we are talking about here. This isn't a game. You don't get any do-overs. At 18 years old the courts laid my friend down for as long as he had been alive. He got himself ensnared, literally, by following my lead, wanting to be "loyal," to be a "friend," knowing I was jammed up and wanted for beating up a guy who was beating on his girlfriend.
This is straight talk here. Somebody loves you and is trying to get your attention. Prison isn't fun. It isn't easy either. It takes more than time from you. It takes part of your being. It leaves you with trauma. Real talk, just this morning I woke up and learned that someone got hit in the head with a lock while they were asleep. This isn't where you want to be. In no way shape or form. You don't want it. You may think your tuff and that you are willing to take risks to do what you got to do to make it out there. But you don't want this, I promise you.
It said don't make friends with such a person. Just to be clear, it says don't even ASSOCIATE with them. Some of you reading this have been associating with some people you have no business associating with. The old saying is true, if you get down with dogs, you are going to get up with fleas. And some fleas you can't get rid of. Some fleas are for life, a gnawing, biting feeling you can't ever get off. An itch you can't ever scratch. A label you can't remove.
4. You have to understand that the people you keep around you, no matter how strong or good you think you are, will INFECT you. The Word says, "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character'" (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV). One minute you are doing school projects and singing in the choir. Then a bad "friend" comes along and two months later you are smoking pot, selling dope and hitting licks.
I wish I would have learned these things before I made the choices in friends that I made. I wish I would have learned the dangers associated with choosing bad friends. Fooled me once, shame on them. Fool me twice, THAT'S on me. Now I'm doing things different. And I suggest you do the same, BEFORE you go to prison!
These days, a friend of Jesus is a friend of mine. And He made it easy for us to distinguish between those who are His friends and those who are not. He said, "You are my friends if you do what I command" (John 15:14, NIV). These days, I'm paying attention. I'm looking. Okay, bet, they don't have anger problems. So I'm good there. But what are they doing? Are they DOING what Jesus says to do in the Word? If they are, then we good. We can be friends. Call it what you want, but this ain't no video game. You only get one shot, as Eminem said.
You can't afford to miss!
5. So we see that they are doing what Jesus says to do in His Word, but more so than that, they actually know the Word for themselves. Jesus, Big Bro, goes on to say, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:15, NIV). Those who are Jesus' friends know the Bible—in a perfect world—even as Jesus Himself knows it. And they love people (John 15:17). The opposite of love is not hate, it is selfishness. So those are things you can be on the lookout (BOLO) for if you want to be smart about your life.
Remember: a friend of His is a friend of ours. And when it comes down to it, the way Jesus sees it is: you are either a friend of His, or a friend of the World. The Word says, "You adulterous [disloyal] people, don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity [hostility] against God? Therefore anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God" (James 4:4, NIV). Who in their right minds would want beef with God Almighty? You better choose your friends wisely. Because the way He sees it is, "Birds of a feather flock together." You are guilty by association. You are just as wrong or right as your friends. The law calls this "acting in concert." And think about it, if your beefing with God, it is only a matter of time before you lose. He is GOING to win every time!
6. When someone goes to prison all we think about is the crime that was committed and the law that was broken. Many think THAT alone is the reason for our captivity, our being exiled and imprisoned. But Scripture tells it from another angle. It say that, when it comes down to it, the reason that people go to prison is because they have sinned against God. (Please take a moment to look up 2 Chronicles 6:37-39, Jeremiah 22:22, and Romans 13:1-7.) It is, and always has been between you and God. And He is going to win. He is God. Why would a person deliberately choose to lose?
If we want to win at this thing called life, and if we want to please our Creator, this is what the Word says, "Do not be yoked together [friends] with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial [an idol]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: 'I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.' Therefore, 'Come out from them and be separate, touch no unclean thing and THEN I will receive you.' And, 'I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty'" (2 Cor 6:14-18).
Maybe you haven't had a father to ACTIVELY father you in your life.
7. Maybe you are looking for that in a big homie or the gang. God is saying HE will be that for you. And He will be the BEST Father. He has always been there. He has just been waiting for you to make up your mind if you wanted Him to be that for you. He loves you. More than any of your friends ever could! He wants what's best for you.
And what is best for you is found in the Word of God.
I know life can get hard. I used to be down since day one. I used to aid and assist and all that stuff. I'm telling you, He has something better and bigger for your life. And one thing He told me, after I started my own journey, was that He doesn't need a platform. He doesn't want you to stay down so you can make a difference in the lives of those guys. He don't want you to stay down, He wants you to Step Out. Step out of that mess! Wash your hands and say your prayers and turn to the Highest Ranking One of All: Jesus Christ. God the Father gave the entire world to Him as His personal footstool. Solomon himself tried to build a house for Him out of something earthy and worldly. And this is what He said: "Heaven is My throne, and the earth is My footstool. What kind of house will you build for me, says the Lord...Did not My hand make all these things?" (Acts 7:49-50, ESV).
He doesn't need nor want that platform. He wants you to step out and separate your self from them. Give yourself to Him! Don't step with. Step out! Step out from them while you can.
8. Look at this, Psalms 1 promises us: "Blessed is the one who does not WALK in step with the wicked or STAND in the way that sinners take or SIT in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates in his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yield fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff THAT THE WIND BLOWS AWAY. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgement, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction" (verses 1-6, caps mine).
By wicked He means the world. People who do not even try to obey God, who do not believe in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Those who have not prayed: "Lord Jesus, forgive me my sins. I repent. From now on, You are my Savior, You are my Lord. Mold me and shape me as YOU will. Amen."
Once you do this, you will begin to yield fruit that others can eat from. Once you get planted in His Word and His purposes for your life, you will feel whole and your life will become purposeful like nothing you have ever imagined.
Men and women of God know who to listen to, as well as who not. And they stand for what they believe. And God knows that exact spot they are standing in, and every step they take. His eye is on them. HE is their friend.
9. Your Father loves you. He wants to keep you safe. And in reference to your friends this is what He wants me to tell you:
"Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God" (2 Corinthians 7:1, NIV).
Take that leap of faith and step out of that circle you are in. Become your own man. A family man. God's man. Be that Father or Mother He has called you to be. You can do it.
I'm speaking from personal experience here. I remember the exact date I started choosing my friends deliberately. It took some courage. As a result of my choice to step out, I could have been killed. I'm just being honest with you here. Because I want you to know that I understand. In some cases, stepping out may mean risking your life. But if your brave, you will gain your life in more ways than one.
Jim Elliot was a missionary to the Acua Indians. A cannibalistic tribe of people who had eaten everyone that came to tell them about God up to that time. While Jim was on the plane he wrote this in his diary. He wrote, "He is no fool who would give what he cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose."
Some things and people are worth standing for. And some are not. I'm just asking you to make the best choice. Because your worth it. And because there was a time, not too long ago, that a whole group of people stepped in to help pull ME out of the fire.
Never Take It For Granted
Never Take It For Granted
by Spencer Pinekenstein June 30,2024
by Spencer Pinekenstein June 30,2024
As often as I recall all the decisions that I wish I would have made differently in my past, is as often as I realize that I made those decisions because I took certain things for granted. I assumed that familywould always be there for me. I cast off the words and wisdom from certain mentors in my life as superficial and "just what an adult might tell any young person".
I also took for granted that life is delicate, and should be treated with care. A diminished value of these things propelled to make some truly horrible decisions regarding the well being of myself and others. from drugs to guns to theft and murder, I cut a path full of pain with my life through the lives of others. God certainly never means for any person at any time to walk paths such as that, and today, even as I type these words, I am filled with comfort and awe that God saw fit to take ashes and turn it to beauty. That is what my lie was as I walked into Guilford County jail January 2019. Ashes.But nothing, and I do mean nothing, is beyond the providence of God. He takes evil things, and turns them for good. He takes the lesser things, and makes them greater. He makes the weak strong and helps the unloved encounter real love. My advice is to let God make beautiful art with your life. He is the greatest painter, sculptor, and architect imaginable. If you let him, he will show you why.
With love,
Spencer Pinekenstein
Take a Second And..... by Spencer Pinekenstein 7/30/2024
Think before you act. Most of the time we don't, and it ends up being to our detriment. Our emotions should always follow our thought. Not the other way around. When we base our actions on how we feel, rather than sound thinking, we find ourselves in situations God never meant for us to be in, even though we feel in the moment that we are right. Following Christ means paying attention to yourself. Not being selfish mind you, but being self aware. There is a big difference. We aim to be a people of action, not reaction. Ask yourself if what your doing is a product of a reaction to an emotion you are feeling, of if it is an action based on good reasoning and healthy thinking. Every hour, minute, and second we are all caught between a tug of the two. Choose wisely. Think before you act, and it will bode well for you.
TO THE YOUNG MIND WHO IS FULL OF PROMISE
Bryce Williams
01/03/2026
(Brandon Bridges. Introducing a man I know to be full of grace and truth and wisdom. A man who promises to
contribute more to our humble Outreach, a good friend, college educated and street smart as well, my man Bryce.)
You matter. Your best days are in front of you in spite of what it feels like.
Human beings are complex creatures. I happen to be of the belief that no one is truly all bad nor are they all good. The human experience is never linear. Our paths are full of twists and turns, peaks and valleys. Possessing the ability to pivot is extremely important.
When an individual is able to take an alternate route, one that is safe and presents opportunity, it minimizes risk. Planning is important.
It is through planning that one begins to envision the future. Dreams are simply goals void of action. Things may not always go as planned, frankly, they rarely do as I alluded to earlier. This truth, however, does not absolve us of our responsibility to attempt to be prepared. Failing to prepare, is planning to fail. Your first yes may come to fruition after the 100th no. Be persistent, stay determined. Don’t always be so quick to respond, in word or action.
Think first. Develop your critical thinking skills. Learn to think of things in more than one way.
Hold true to your personal convictions but remain curious about others’ perspectives, doing so will allow you to grow and evolve.
Understand that the woman beside you means something to somebody, somewhere-value her as such. Diversify the company you keep.
If you’re the smartest person in the room, keep searching for new rooms. Time is the greatest currency, spend it wisely. Learn to follow humbly and lead with love wisely.
With Strength & Grace.
Bryce Williams
#1533478
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